tendril landscape

I look at us, our eyes light and dark moving inward on a wave of thought. This moment like none other, tickling the fate in me and rounding you out. Believing that the shoulder dip and sense of your finger tip is special, that the sounding of your chin draws me. Wondering if the soup of emotions will mix resentment or if out of these moments will come contentment. Quieting, the everglow of my insides corrupt and I learn to be soft with the tendril landscape. The creative sphere of growth that tumbles on the outside and retracts on the in. Contradictory creature, the self loath paints a tempered pale, all I need to do is forgive and let live the anger in me. Waves ride down my body and loop up the sloped base of spine, I have spent too much on passing minutes and left so little. A gathering begins in star speckled cosmos, the galaxy within pumping new births and pearling a dark sky with hope for a veiled self. Done giving it away, these crayfish romances and tidal wave losses. I can finally feel the limitations of my body, the separation from me to you. No continuation of sensation, I am removed from the surrounding and in love with the subtle energy of life. In the back of my mind, a small voice rejoices, empty of purpose and expelled from the rotten underbelly. Learning suddenly about the nothingness and how I can intertwine with more than the external, to let go of the wasting white of morning. Our words dancing dangerous on the lidded ledges of tongues and this swallowed down, no longer constant frown. Until now. My journey slicked onto a new page, a joy mixed with rage, there is only you and only I and even that is a far cry. The colors alive on dim skin, I am too young to be lived in and this world slowly shakes out more than I had realized. There is no reason to hold on to that which is already gone, the moments bent on and I am death, dead and dying.

I thought I saw you. These actions burst into reality and I see the organic mixture of your body yet dim light surrounds only a ripple. Misunderstood, leading a belief of entity and essence, when within there is neither but a subtle slip of the unknown. Movement of a shell over limitations and foundations, there is so little I really know. Disconnected more from this mind and body in a separation that has taken years and grown with every thought and action. So uncharted the valleys of insides, the ruled rails of thoughts that keep us battling the coarse carnage of a person. This person that stares out while you stare in, yet how is the body to be lived in when there is animal and divine. Opposition and my own address is void, nothing to call on. Just connection with every floating portion of life, my own body sections of atoms and particles that make up a made up identity. This is how it’s free from us or me, any path to unity is filled with possibility but first the restless self destroyed. Annilation of the creation of our individuality when what is felt is joined, compassion for the delicate web of relation. I call it a self but can’t understand the parts that form reality, each person a formation of a larger creation and it’s so much more than me.