May 14, 2015

There are things I could do now. Stop thinking the thoughts, or as Abraham Hicks says, pivot into a new feeling. On what is good now. Starting general because then there is more to work with. My list of positive aspects is quite long, in fact if I started writing about all the good I see in my life, I would have a book. Even more than that, I see that there is an abundance when I start with nature. When I forget I am even inside myself I am too busy looking outward and appreciating all the flow. When that happens, I am part of the flow, I am the flow. When I focus on the positive that is, I feel a release. I am completely present and not focused on what I imagine once was, or where I should be, I am just a swirling bunch of energy in a cozy shell gawking at my surroundings. So I think I will start here and focus my attention on the fabric that makes up the bigger picture. Broad perspective, sweeping strokes of paint and the overaching themes that ripple through the days and weeks.

I start general and I think of the air on my skin and how I breath it in one breath after another. That my body does that on it’s own and functions while I think about it functioning. I remember myself and the sense of being on the ground, planting my roots deep into the floor, down into the soil and past the rocks and earth matter, my true foundation. I take in the space around me and admire the simple laws that I take for granted, my expectations on how the universe will react, how I have formed my beliefs from the thoughts I continue to have. I touch the closest thing to me and feel the softness of blanket, the weight of it in my hands and over my legs. I dig deeper to the magic and child within me. To the layers of beings that I am made up of, the soft hearted soul that smiles through me and laughs openly. I am thinking about the things that I am grateful for and not the things that I wish I could change. When I allow myself to see it like that, it all looks perfect. I remember that my true nature is very content, blended into every moment seamlessly, at peace with how things are and trusting that it will all unravel as it should.

The pieces that make up the larger more substantial, the bliss that swells under my fingertips every time I use my senses to translate this place. I chose this existence and I know that for sure. Before I came into it, I knew that it would be a ride but that it would be worth it and I would have everything I needed, all the tools for learning what I need to do. It was a thrill to push off into the embrace of humanity. The leading edge of my own remembering and when I think about it, there was the understanding that I would experience separation and idleness in making choices. I have discovered under the piles of thoughts, there was a solid surface, a base that remained no matter how much I crumbled. It gives me hope even when the external stimulus has me dissembling, it all can fall apart but that knowledge will remain as building blocks, my shard of light.